February 2007
Paht-neh Of The Month
KIM GREEN

Meet Kim!

Full name:  Kimberly Ann Green.
Place Of Birth:  St. James, New York.
Place of Work:  Westside Veterinary Center.
Astrological Sign:  Taurus.
Marital Status: Single.
Turn-Ons:  The Knuckleheads; Dave "The Guitar Man" from Central Park; cats; dolphins; George Clooney (in that order).
Turn-Offs:  Fruit; people offering her fruit during horror movies.           
More Kim facts: Beloved former roommate and paht-neh of December 2002 Paht-neh of the Month Jennifer Simard...a few years back, told Morgan Stanley to Take This Job and Shove It in favor of a more lucrative career at Westside Veterinary Center...a proud Upper West Side denizen who will be moving to another neighborhood as soon as MONKEYS FLY OUT OF HER BUTT...actually worked at "Saturday Night Live" for a year, and calls Lorne Michaels her "small p" paht-neh...unassuming, beautiful, and kind, that is, until a Paht-neh is crossed or threatened; then she becomes what Quint describes in Jaws:  "The thing about a shark...it's got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes.  When it comes at you, it doesn't seem to be livin'...until he bites you, and those black eyes roll over white."...in other words, "Don't mess with the Knuckleheads, or she'll come after your cracker ass!"...the Knuckleheads luurrrrrrve Kim Green!!!  Wassup now Paht-neh!
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Kim.