Meet John!
Full name: John Christopher Michael Riordan.
Place Of Birth: New York, New York.
Place Of Work: LIRR (Long Island Railroad).
Marital status: Divorced.
Turn-Ons: The Knuckleheads; daughter Bailey; Bailey's Irish Creme; very large dogs; redheads; Loudon Wainwright III; blues and jazz for piano.
Turn-Offs: Ex-wife; cancer of the larynx; peanut butter; little yappy dogs; car salesmen; divorce attorneys; Osama Bin Laden.
More John facts: Hano's favorite fellow distinguished alumnus of Nassau Community College, also known as the "Prince of Malvern"...a survivor, whose reward for his long, arduous battle with larnyx cancer is a miraculous, deep, seismic, sensual growl that women flock to like Oprah on baked ham...introduced the Knuckleheads to Loudon Wainwright (2003), and Hano to marajuana (1984)...actually listens to his Knuckleheads CD, even when the Knuckleheads are not around...favorite song is "Tommy Made Owen Wilson Cry"...is a nationally renowned expert on "Arthur" movies, having committed to memory every Dudley Moore film ever made...personally brokered the deal bringing Knucklefunk to J. T. Bullitt's on Long Island...a true Knuckleheads fan, an all-around gentleman, and a (capital P) Paht-neh...the Knuckleheads salute John Riordan!
